


cherry red doc martens

by punkcowboy



Category: Daredevil (TV), Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff, Gen, Kinda crack?, Parker Luck, Peter Gets New Boots, Team Red, silly fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-04-11 16:39:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19113613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punkcowboy/pseuds/punkcowboy
Summary: "Nice boots, by the way. Wouldn't wear 'em myself, but I also wouldn't wear bright red-and-blue spandex, so, you do you man," then he frowned a little, breaking his chill and totally-put-together demeanour for the first time, "How'd ya get them clean so fast?""I, uh, didn't..." Because, actually, his boots looked good as new. There wasn't a single drop of mud on them, now that he was looking. That was pretty odd considering the state of, well, everything else he was wearing, but hey, Peter wasn't about to complain that his boots were too clean."Guess ya got lucky then."-In which Peter gets new boots. Wade thinks they’re magic, and wants to steal them. Peter maybe possibly thinks they’re magic too. The Avengers are confused. Matt is Matt.





	cherry red doc martens

**Author's Note:**

> This is a WIP!! Normally I wouldn’t post a one-shot until it’s finished but, I’m going to be without internet access in Kenya for a month, and the only place I have this stored is in my drafts on AO3 which delete after a month- which would be while I’m away, and I,,, quite like what I’ve written thus far. Hope y’all do too :)

It wasn't that Peter had been trying to brag. It was just that he didn't get new things often so, when he did, he tried to make sure that everyone noticed.

_Everyone._

It wasn't _his_ fault that he was also a vigilante- not a superhero, _there's a difference, Mr Stark_ \- and thus "everyone" also included the criminals he faced as Spider-Man, any civilians who saw him, and anyone he happened to team up with. And, well, his new boots perfectly matched his red and blue colour-scheme, and they were sturdy which would be great for kicking, and he could cope with just his sticky fingers for wall climbing, they had a good grip anyway, so.

If the shoe fits?

Getting used to the extra weight only took him a few swings, and after that it was smooth sailing. Things were normal, except he felt 10x cooler. Not that he was very cool to begin with, but on a scale of one to Iceman he was probably more than zero, and with the boots he could hit at Robert Pattinson's level of cool. Probably.

So yeah, Peter felt pretty confident swinging through New York in his new boots.

He swung and swung and swung some more, relishing the feeling of the wind rushing past him, the thrill of the fall and shooting out web at the last second, before his Spidey Sense went off, alerting him of... something. It was faint, so he changed course- turning towards Brooklyn and sure enough, it got louder and more painful. Being Spider-Man, he started to head towards it as fast as his webs could carry him.

He knew he was on the right path when he started hearing screams. He saw Iron Man first, then Falcon- _or was he Captain America now? Whatever, he still had wings_ -, and _then_ the sewer monsters came into view.

Right, OK, he could deal with that.

The battle, if you could even call it that, was over quickly. The sewer monsters were a pretty run-of-the-mill bunch, not even that villainous, just big and muddy and annoying. If one sat on you, you could probably drown in the mud, but otherwise all that happened was you needed a long shower. They generally retreated back themselves, or, as was the case this time, spray a little water on them and they simply melted. With the full force of the Avengers- except for Banner, because theydidn't need science and this wasn't really a Hulk level threat- it didn't take long to hose 'em down and be done with it.

Still, Peter was a little tired. An easy fight was still a fight, and he'd been swinging around like mad trying to keep civilians out of the way while the Avengers did their thing. It was always harder than he thought it would- or _should_ \- be; for some reason, people liked to record dumb shit like this, which, fine, Peter got photography and all that, but did they really have to be so _close_? They were constantly putting themselves in danger of being sat on.

He stopped to catch his breath once the last of the mud had drained away, and looked around for any heroes. They liked to debrief after a battle, and if Peter helped out he always got dragged in which, uh, _boring_. And he was still meant to be on patrol. They might not care about "petty" crimes, but Spider-Man did.

 _Plus_ , he reasoned with himself as he began to swing away, _I was only on crowd control. I wasn't really part of the battle, so they don't actually need me there, right? They probably didn't even notice I was-_

He felt a tug on the string of web he'd been about to let go off, and suddenly he was being dragged backwards through the air by something that hadn't even set off his spidey sense which, under the circumstances, could only mean one thing.

_Fuck._

He hit the ground roughly, groaning and then-

"Nice of you to drop in, Spider-Man," he opened his eyes and, yep, Sam Wilson's smug fucking face was smiling down at him.

_Fucking fudge on a fudging stick._

"Hey Mr Falcon sir, how's it going?" he asked, scrambling to his feet, and began trying to talk his way out of it, "I saw you're thing with the mud guys going down, looked fun and, uh, muddy, and I'm sorry I didn't help out but it looked like you had it handled so I _thwip thwiped_ away, you know how it is. Well, OK, maybe not but kind of yes? Because you fly, which is cool, and I swing, which is also cool, maybe even cooler, not that there's anything wrong with your wings but-"

Sam cut off his rambling, "Nice try, motor mouth, but I saw you getting that group of teenagers outta the way of a particularly big mud fella that had been about to sit on 'em. And even, if I hadn't seen that- Spidey, there are webs everywhere. You leave a pretty distinct trail wherever you go, you know that right? Also, um." Instead of finishing with words, he simply gestured to Peter's suit which was. OK, yeah, he was really muddy. However-

"Nice boots, by the way. Wouldn't wear 'em myself, but I also wouldn't wear bright red-and-blue spandex, so, you do you man," then he frowned a little, breaking his chill and totally-put-together demeanour for the first time, "How'd ya get them clean so fast?"

"I, uh, didn't..." Because, actually, his boots looked good as new. There wasn't a single drop of mud on them, now that he was looking. That _was_ pretty odd considering the state of, well, everything else he was wearing, but hey, Peter wasn't about to complain that his boots were too _clean._

"Guess ya got lucky then."

Yeah, maybe the Parker Luck had decided to lay off for a bit.

"Doesn't matter. De-brief time, bug boy."

Or not.

-

Despite the overall _uselessness_ of it, the de-briefing this time wasn't actually that bad. Everyone was in a good mood, despite the overwhelming smell of _damp-_ and there had been enough compliments on his shiny new boots that Peter had been practically glowing with pride by the time it was over. The best comment by far was from Mr Stark who had said, quite naively, _"what are those?"_ which, despite it being an old meme, resulted in Peter cackling manically while Tony looked on, baffled, making Peter laugh even harder. It had been a vicious cycle.

Now Peter was crouching on a rooftop, trying to figure out how Daredevil managed to stay in this position for so long without cramping up. He'd been doing it for half an hour, and was already starting to get pins and needles despite his super-whatever. Stamina? Would that help with this? Whatever it was, DD didn't have it and still managed to do the crouching thing for stupid-long periods of time.

In case it wasn't evident, crime was slow and Peter was bored.

Boredom, however, was not an invite for Deadpool to slam into him from behind and knock him over. Deadpool, however, didn't seem to have gotten that memo, as that's exactly what he did.

"Hey Petey, how's it going?" he asked, bright and cheery, as if he _hadn't_ just made Peter eat dirt.

OK, he didn't actually, his mask had been down, but the _intent_ had been there.

"Wade, what have we said about sneaking up on me?"

Wade paused, thinking, before having a _eureka!_ moment,

"Don't do it?"

"Got it in one, dude," Peter said, standing up and brushing the grit off his suit, "So, other than attacking me, what you doing here?"

Wade pouted. He was wearing his mask, so Peter couldn't technically see his pouting, but he was definitely pouting. He had that vibe about him now. Then, just to be sure Peter had got the picture, he actually pulled his mask off to reveal the poutiest-pout he'd ever pouted.

"I thought you'd be happy to see me, baby boy!" he wailed, as if genuinely distraught.

"I am!" Peter hurriedly assured him, feeling guilty, "I just thought you were out of town, y'know, on a. Uh. Job?"

Peter, whilst his friendship with Wade had developed into a pretty solid ride-or-die situation, was still not fully comfortable with the whole assassin thing. Still, since they started hanging out and occasionally teaming up, accounts of Deadpool's crime scenes had gotten a little less vomit-inducing to hear about, and Peter was actually pretty sure that, despite how morally corrupt he seemed, Wade was more on the side of chaotic neutral than chaotic evil, so, that meant something.

Plus, Wade was surprisingly good company, despite what Mr Stark said.

"Oh, no, that was just a lil family matter I had to sort out," Wade said, looking practically _gleeful_ , "that was done-zo a while ago kid. Firebug- Firefist? Firefox? Nah. Stupid, just Russell -anyway, we had a heart-warming moment, if I do say so myself, I died and then I _didn't_ die thanks to a time-travelling princess, and the bad guy was un-alived pretty quickly after that. Bang, and the dirt is gone! " he giggled, back to being joyful and pleasantly psychopathic, "What I'm here for is those sweet cherry red lil booties on your footies! And, oh, Petey, they're so shiny!"

Peter frowned.

"How'd you know I had new boots?"

Wade snapped out of his daze to answer, "Word gets around fast, sweetcheeks. Lil genius like you, been a hero for a couple years, thought you'd've figured that out by now!"

"So how'd _you_ know?" Peter pressed.

"Oh, well, a little birdie told me! Flew right up soon as I got back in town, askin' all sorts of questions," Wade beamed, "I got outta there real fast, but not before he mentioned "mud monsters" 'n' "made a fucking mess" and "spidey's shiny fucking boots"," Wade's smile seemed to stretch even wider, if that was possible, "The new Mr America has a fouler mouth than the old one, huh? Made me feel soft and dainty in comparison."

"What Wade is trying to say," came a new voice, making Peter look around, bewildered. Daredevil jumped down from the next roof over, landing in a crouch and, _oh, yeah, he still needed to ask about that._ Matt stood up, however, and kept talking, "Is that he thinks your boots are magic, and wants to steal them."

"I- what?"

"Steal them. Off of your feet."

Wade giggled. Somehow, it sounded more sinister than before.

Peter blinked.

"No, no, I mean the magic thing. Where'd you get _that_ idea?"

Wade answered this time, "Petey, Petey, Petey, I know you're younger than Maguire but I thought you were still meant to be a genius! You got in a fight with mud monsters, and Sammy said there wasn't a drop o' mud on your lil red feet even though the rest of ya was looking like a pile of chocolate puddin'. And even without that, right now you're standing on a dirty rooftop in the middle of Hell's Kitchen, and they're lookin' as shiny as ever! They've gotta have a lil bit of magic in them."

"Maybe I just got lucky," he argued.

That did not go down well. Wade started laughing, doubling down and slapping his knees to make sure his point got across, and even Matt was smiling a little. In an "I'm genuinely amused" way, not a "I'm about to beat the shit out of you" way. Which Matt most definitely did not do when dressed as Daredevil, said it _"messed with his aesthetic"_ and _"no, my aesthetic is not satanic-themed dominatrix, shut up Wade."_

 "Peter, no offence," he was saying now, "but you, in particular, don't just 'get lucky'."

Peter did not like that statement, mainly because it was true and he knew it, and so he chose to ignore it.

"Ma-," a look from Matt, and he changed his mind quickly, "DD, why are _you_ here then? Pretty sure Wade didn't need your help tracking me down, so don't try to pretend that that's it. Besides, even if that was the excuse you gave, that wouldn't explain why you helped him."

Matt's expression gave a way nothing. He still looked just as constipated as before. He did answer, however.

"I came to remind you that the lawyers at Nelson & Murdock are still waiting for you to fix their braille printer. Mr Murdock is a very talented lawyer, but even he can't do much if he can't read the case files."

"Oh! Sure thing DD, I can do that right now!" he'd been wanting to see Foggy again for a while, it was always nice, and Karen was badass. And they both also always happened to have new embarrassing stories to tell about Matt.

"Ah, ah, ah, not so fast. I want the magic boots first! A friend I got is exceedingly lucky, and it's amazing but it's getting annoying. Me-me want some a that!"

He made grabby hands towards Peter's feet, but Peter managed to leap out of the way before Wade could get at them. Weird. He was normally a lot harder to avoid. Wade made another grab, but Peter simply side-stepped him and he went tumbling off the side of the building. There was crash, and he ran over to check that he was still alive. He was lying flat on his back on the fire escape and ,despite being a little dazed looked fine.

Turning back to Matt, who looked vaguely perplexed, he sent him a dazzling smile. he couldn't see it, but it's the thought that counts, right?

"So, printer?"

-

"Peter! How are you?"

Karen greeted him at the door of Nelson & Murdock: Attorney's at Law. He'd left Matt to deal with Deadpool, and went to find the alley where he'd left his backpack, and, therefore, his change of clothes. It normally took him a few tries to find it, but this time it was in the first alley he dropped into. Pleased with himself, he got changed quickly and walked straight to the office building where Matt and Foggy had set up shop. His boots didn't even rub.

"Hey Karen! I'm good, here to fix the printer?" Karen stepped aside to let him in, pointing it out to him, "Great! How's things, Miss Page?"

"Best they could be, in my mind. Although Matt probably wouldn't agree, Foggy's been having to read all the case files out to him-"

"Which I don't mind doing, by the way! Hey Pete," Foggy emerged from his own office, into the main room, "But he keeps grumbling about how it's a waste of time we don't have, or something like that. Between you and me, I think he just likes to complain," he whispered conspiritually, before grinning "want some coffee?"

Usually he wouldn't turn down the offer of coffee- because, uh it's _coffee_ \- but today Peter found himself shaking his head, "No thanks, Mr Nelson, I'll just focus on fixing your printer for a bit then get out of your hair."

"Suit yourself," Foggy shrugged, but didn't question it further. Peter chose not to as well, instead focusing, like he told Foggy, on fixing the printer. He heard the kettle boiling in the background as he worked at it. By the time the kettle was ready, Peter was done. Easy as pie.

"Fixed it!"

"Huh," Foggy looked at him out of the corner of his eye as he made his cup of coffee, "That was quick."

Peter didn't argue. It had been quick, but it was an easy problem to fix so that made sense. Right? Nothing to do with lucky shoes.

He shook his head. Definitely not.

Karen asked him if he wanted to stay a bit longer, but he declined. As he left, he heard Foggy yell in disgust behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see him spitting his coffee back into the cup, frowning.

"Karen, this stuff is _vile._ What happened to the coffee we usually get?"

Peter turned back around quickly, eyes wide. He adjusted his bag, and started walking down the stairs two at a time. 

 _OK_ , _magic_ _boots_.

**Author's Note:**

> Fun? Hope you like it so far! Any feedback is much appreciated xo  
> (Like seriously rip this to shreds if you want lol it’s just some fun and a rough kind of draft I guess??   
> I already know I want to expand the bit with Foggy and Karen, it feels very rushed. Anything else you think I should change/add, let me know :) )


End file.
